Optimus Cold
by Pythonmelon
Summary: An especially short story about a suspicuous cold that has Optimus Prime in it's grip


"Optimus, I don't see how an Autobot can catch a cold." Sam Witwicky stared, baffled and unbelieving, at the titanic transformer before him. "Or a Decepticon for that matter!"

"Sam." Optimus Prime broke in. His voice was muffled and nasally. "We never encountered anything like this on Cybertron, and have reason to believe I contracted the cold from you." He finished on a cracked snuffle.

Sam was just recovering from a case of the flu himself. Optimus, Bumblebee, and the other transformers had poked their heads in more than once to check on him. Likewise, Sam had let out more than one honking sneeze without a tissue to stop it from going everywhere. And he had coughed- oh had he coughed.

"If Optimus dies…" Ironhide, the only other one in the echoing air hangar, did not finish his sentence but instead crushed a cinderblock in his hand like a crouton.

"He's not going to die!" The boy cried. "It's just a cold- a flu bug."

"He's right." The prime shook his head certainly. "Ironhide, I have no chance of dying." About then he sneezed. It was a short rattling boom that shook the ceiling lights. A jet of steaming grease shot out of his mouth with the noise, hitting the opposite wall with a wet slap.

"What's this flu bug?" Ironhide demanded.

"Nothing to worry about." The teen shrugged uneasily. "At least- I don't think so." He felt a stormy cloud of doubt cover his mind. The Decepticon threat was too great for a blow like that.

"Explain." Optimus had a shadow of worry himself.

"A flu." Sam began to elaborate. "Is a virus, like a tiny organism that moves from person to person. It hurts the body of the person, but not much." He knocked on Optimus' huge chest. "It infects a person and causes nasal congestion, coughing, stuff like that." As if to make the point the autobot sneezed, sending more hot grease flying. "It's common in people, but I never thought it could affect something so… so _metal_." He finished.

"Megatron, you have to see this!" Starscream called, not looking away from the computer monitor he had watched all night. The decepticon's eyes squinted humorously.

"What is it?" Megatron marched to his lackey's side. "This better be good."

"Oh it is." Starscream glanced at him. "I successfully bugged the prime."

"Excellent!" What have we learned?"

"Nothing."

"What?" The lead decepticon punched a wall. "If the bug doesn't steal information, what does it do?"

"It's keeping him cooped up in the naval base." He pointed at the monitor. It showed a sickly Optimus sitting with Ironhide and the human boy, Sam.

The bug is modeled to work like a human influenza virus, causing him to 'sneeze', 'cough', and overheat." The villain smiled. "They have to leave him sometime. The prime is vulnerable."

Megatron grinned madly. The victory was practically in his hands.

"Well, how do you cure it?" Ironhide said, visibly trying to argue with Sam. Optimus hacked wetly.

"Usually we take cough medicine, drink tea, stuff like that." A nervous Sam shrugged.

"I think I could stomach cough medicine." The sick autobot nodded in approval. "Sam, I don't want to be a burden, but could you pick me up some of this medicine?"

"Anything you need." Sam stood up and cocked his heels, giving a play salute.

Starscream was ignoring the monitor now, going about other business. Despite being made with human (disgusting things) technology it was almost fail proof where it was placed at the back of his enemy's throat.

Sam fingered through the bills in his wallet on the way to his Toyota (it was new; something to drive when his Camaro was off battling evil) and counted out forty bucks. That should cover two or three gallons of Dayquil or whatever.

"You guys owe me bad." Sam dragged a five-gallon bucket filled with liquid medicine bottles into the hangar.

"We'll pay you back." Optimus insured, coughing again. Sam began to empty each bottle of cough medicine in turn into the bucket.

Suddenly a loud crackle- snap of blowing circuits issued from the bug's sensors. "What?" Starscream jumped up, running to the table where his monitor sat.

Megatron followed him over. "What is it?" He growled.

On the video screen Optimus was emptying a bucket of pale green liquid into his open mouth. "No!" Starscream shouted "Whatever he drank just shorted it out!"

"Well, that worked." Sam looked up at an almost myrically cured Prime.

"Yes, it did." Optimus smiled. His voice was no longer cracked or muffled.

Sam examined the Dayquil bottle easily. "I know what I'm taking next time the flu comes around."


End file.
